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Why is it so hard to lose weight?

I'm not insanely overweight, but it is something where I keep trying to make a conscious effort in order to get slimmer and go consistently to the gym, but I keep messing up somewhere in the process before I can really see the results and really stick to it. I have bad eating habits, and I'm not the best at resisting unhealthy food when I set my mind to it, but it's also not impossible. I started participating in Lent these past few years, two years ago I gave up chocolate, and once I actually managed to do that this year i completely gave up unhealthy food. For how prevalent junk food is in my life, I thought it was going to be impossible. However, I took it week after week, and actually managed to pull it off. I was insanely proud of myself, but because ever since I ate junk food to congratulate myself, I'm been slowly gaining weight since, where all the progress I made from Lent is gone at this point. Ever since high school, once I gained a certain amount of weight I've kept it on ever since. I used to participate in soccer and basketball and was in decent shape, but now in college I'm not in anything, and I haven't been disciplined enough to continuously go to the gym even though most times I enjoy working out and playing sports. I just want to be consistent to the point I can go back to the shape I used to be in when I was in high school, just hopefully with more muscle this time.

I think I chose the wrong major

I'm about to start my senior year and I feel like I've somehow made it all the way here before realizing I might not want the thing I've been working toward for years. I've been a biology major since freshman year because I always planned on going to medical school. Everyone knows that's what I'm doing. My family talks about it constantly, my friends think that's my future, and honestly I thought it was too. The problem is that the closer I get to actually applying, the less excited I am. I don't hate biology and I don't hate medicine, but whenever I picture myself actually becoming a doctor I don't feel excited. Mostly I just feel stressed. Meanwhile, the thing I've enjoyed most in college has been writing. I've written for the school paper, done some freelance stuff online, and every time I'm working on something writing-related I completely lose track of time. The idea of changing directions this late sounds insane though. My parents have spent a lot helping me get through school and I know they'd support me eventually, but I also know they'd be shocked. Sometimes I think maybe everyone feels this way before a big career decision and I should just push through it. Other times I feel like I'm about to spend the next 40 years doing something because I was too scared to admit I wanted something else. I genuinely don't know which possibility scares me more.

Friends but not really?

I'm a junior in college and I honestly can't tell if I'm overthinking this or if my friends just don't really care about me that much. I have a friend group that I spend time with pretty regularly and whenever we're together everything seems normal. People talk to me, joke around with me, ask me how things are going, all that. But I've started realizing that I don't think anyone ever actually invites me to things. It's always because I happen to be there when plans are being made or because one person remembers to add me to a group chat afterward. A few weeks ago everyone went to New York for the weekend and I didn't even know they were going until I saw pictures on Instagram. One of my friends said he thought someone else invited me and seemed genuinely surprised that nobody had. The weird thing is I don't think anyone dislikes me. If I show up somewhere, nobody acts like I shouldn't be there. Lately I've been wondering if I'm just one of those people who's everyone's friend but nobody's close friend. Last week I decided I wasn't going to text anyone first just to see what happened, and it's been over a week and nobody has reached out. I know people are busy and we're all adults, but at some point it starts feeling like if I stopped putting effort into these friendships they would completely disappear. Am I reading too much into this?

I am the only single person on a couples trip

A group of college friends planned a cabin weekend for next month. When we first talked about it, it sounded like a normal friend trip. Now everyone is bringing their partner except me. I am single, and normally I am okay with that, but the group chat has turned into couples logistics. Who is sharing which room, which couples are driving together, meal planning in pairs, stuff like that. One friend said, “You will be fine, you know all of us,” which is true. But I have been on trips like this before where I slowly become the extra person. People split off naturally. Couples sit together. I end up helping clean or taking photos. I do not want to be dramatic and cancel. I also do not want to pay for a weekend where I feel like a seventh wheel. Part of me thinks I should go and not make it weird. Part of me thinks protecting my peace is allowed.

I want to transfer colleges, but I already told everyone I love it here

I am a sophomore at a small private college. When I first got here I posted constantly about how happy I was. I told my parents it was the perfect fit. I told my high school friends I had found “my people.” But the truth is that this year has been rough. My closest friend transferred, my classes feel too small, and I feel like I am living in the same tiny bubble every day. I visited a state school two hours away and felt more relaxed there in one weekend than I have here in months. The embarrassing part is that I made such a big deal about loving my current school. My parents are proud of me for adjusting. My Instagram literally makes it look like I am thriving. I know that sounds stupid, but I feel like transferring would make me look fake or dramatic. I keep wondering if I am actually unhappy here, or if I am just lonely right now and expecting a school to fix it.

My younger brother wants to drop out and I do not know how honest to be

My younger brother is 19 and in his first year of college. He called me last night saying he wants to drop out. He hates his classes, has not made close friends, and feels like he is wasting money. Our parents are very “finish what you start” people, so he came to me first. I am 26 and graduated college, so he thinks I will understand. The thing is, part of me thinks dropping out might actually be okay if he has a plan. But right now his plan is basically “come home and figure it out.” He has always been smart but avoidant when something gets uncomfortable. I do not want to sound like our parents and lecture him. But I also do not want to validate a decision he might regret in six months. He asked me, “Do you think I am stupid for wanting to leave?” I told him no. But I did not know what else to say.

I feel weird charging my friends for photography

I started doing photography as a hobby during college, mostly portraits and graduation pictures. Recently people have started asking me to shoot events or engagement photos. Strangers pay my rate without making it weird. Friends are different. Last weekend a friend asked if I could shoot her engagement party “as my gift.” It would be four hours, plus editing. I said I would think about it, but I already feel guilty asking for money. Part of me thinks friends should support your work by paying you. Another part of me thinks maybe I am being too transactional with people I care about. I am not trying to get rich off my friends. I just do not want my weekends to become free labor because I happen to own a camera.

My dad keeps asking me to join the family business

My dad owns a small HVAC company that he built from nothing. He is proud of it, and honestly he should be. It paid for our house, my college, everything. For the past year he has been hinting that I should come work with him. Lately it has become more direct. He says things like, “I built this so you would have something secure,” and “I do not want strangers running it when I retire.” I currently work as a graphic designer. I do not make a ton of money, but I like the work. I like the people. I like that my job is mine. The family business would probably be more stable long term, but I feel this heavy pressure every time he brings it up. My mom says I should at least try it for a year because it would mean a lot to him. I am scared that saying no will hurt him deeply. But saying yes feels like accepting a life I never actually chose.

I miss church but don’t know if I believe anymore

I grew up going to church every week. I stopped in college and told myself it was because I was busy, but really I had doubts and felt weird pretending. Now I miss the community more than the beliefs. I miss singing with people and having somewhere to go on Sunday. I don’t know what to do with that feeling. It feels like missing a place I’m not sure I belong in.

I stopped waiting for certainty

For years I thought every important decision should feel obvious before I made it. When choosing a college, deciding whether to change majors, and later deciding whether to take a new job, I kept waiting for some moment where I'd suddenly know the right answer. That moment never came. What I've realized is that many of life's biggest decisions aren't about finding the perfect option. They're about choosing a reasonable path and then committing enough effort to make that path work. Looking back, almost every decision that changed my life positively felt uncertain at the time. If I had waited until I was 100% confident, I probably wouldn't have made any of them. One question that helps me now is: "If both options worked out well, which one would I regret not trying?" That doesn't always give me an answer, but it often reveals what I actually want beneath all the fear. Sometimes the goal isn't to eliminate uncertainty. Sometimes the goal is learning how to move forward despite it.

I chose the practical major and now I’m bored

I’m a junior in college and picked accounting because everyone said it was safe. I’m doing fine grade-wise, but I feel no spark toward it. Like none. Part of me thinks work is just work and I should stop being dramatic. Another part of me worries I’m setting myself up for 40 years of checking boxes. I don’t even know what I’d switch to, which makes this harder.

Why is making friends after college so hard?

When I was in school, meeting people happened naturally. Now everyone seems busy with work, relationships, or family. I've been in a new city for almost a year and still don't feel like I have a real friend group. Is this normal or am I doing something wrong?

I feel like I'm outgrowing my hometown friends

Ever since I left for college, I feel like my friendships back home have slowly faded. Nobody did anything wrong, but conversations feel forced now and I often feel like the odd one out when I come back. Part of me feels guilty because these are people I've known my whole life, but another part of me feels like we're just growing into different people. Has anyone else experienced this? Did those friendships come back later, or is this just a normal part of growing up?

I’m scared my best years already happened

I’m 29 and I know that’s not old, but lately I keep thinking college was the peak. Friends lived nearby, everything felt open, and I had energy. Now life is bills, work, scheduling coffee three weeks out, and trying to sleep enough. Please tell me there are good chapters after this, because right now adulthood feels like a slow narrowing.

I am thinking about changing my major, but I am scared it is too late

I am halfway through college and realizing I may have chosen my major because it sounded safe rather than because I actually liked it. Switching would probably delay graduation and make things more complicated financially. But staying feels like slowly committing to a future I am not excited about.

My friendships after college feel weaker than I expected

Since graduating, I feel like everyone is slowly drifting into their own lives. We still text occasionally, but it does not feel the same. I am trying not to take it personally, but sometimes it makes me wonder if those friendships were only strong because we were always around each other. I would appreciate perspectives from people who have gone through this transition.

I’m 42 and my thirties were much better than my twenties. Less chaos, better friends, more self-respect. Life did not peak at college.

My brother went through some of the same things you're talking about when he first got tattoos and when he made his college decisions, stand your ground because it's what you want to do and that's what matters

Not gonna lie, seeing the NYC pictures would have ruined my day lol. I don't think you're being childish. College friend groups can be weird because everyone acts close, but then you realize there are smaller groups inside the group. You might not need to fully drop them, but maybe stop treating them like your main people and start putting more energy into one or two friendships where the effort feels more equal.

Not gonna lie, seeing the NYC pictures would have ruined my day lol. I don't think you're being childish. College friend groups can be weird because everyone acts close, but then you realize there are smaller groups inside the group. You might not need to fully drop them, but maybe stop treating them like your main people and start putting more energy into one or two friendships where the effort feels more equal.