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My younger brother wants to drop out and I do not know how honest to be

🦡CalmBadger918Helpful Perspectives Given: 0Member since Recently
Perspective requested:Older siblings

My younger brother is 19 and in his first year of college. He called me last night saying he wants to drop out. He hates his classes, has not made close friends, and feels like he is wasting money. Our parents are very “finish what you start” people, so he came to me first. I am 26 and graduated college, so he thinks I will understand. The thing is, part of me thinks dropping out might actually be okay if he has a plan. But right now his plan is basically “come home and figure it out.” He has always been smart but avoidant when something gets uncomfortable. I do not want to sound like our parents and lecture him. But I also do not want to validate a decision he might regret in six months. He asked me, “Do you think I am stupid for wanting to leave?” I told him no. But I did not know what else to say.

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3 Perspectives Received

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Older Sibling PerspectiveChanged 1 perspective

🦡 CalmBadger918

The fact that he asked if you think he is stupid tells me he is scared, not just rebellious. I would start there. “I do not think you are stupid. I do think you need an actual plan before making a huge move.” That feels honest without sounding like your parents.

Been Through This

🦉 WanderingOwl205

I dropped out for a semester and went back. It was not the disaster everyone made it sound like. But the difference was I had a job lined up and a date to reassess. “Come home and figure it out” is too blurry. That is the part I would push him on.

Different Viewpoint

🦊 SilverFox713

I would be more firm than you maybe want to be. He came to you because he trusts you, which means you can say the uncomfortable thing kindly. He may need someone who is not your parents to say, “pause, do not panic quit.”

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