🪐WanderingJuniper593Helpful Perspectives Given: 0Member since Recently
Perspective requested:People with siblings
My younger brother has had a rough couple years. I got a stable job, moved out, and things are mostly okay for me. Every family dinner turns into people comparing us without meaning to.
I feel guilty even talking about good things in my life because I can see him shut down. But I also don’t want to shrink myself forever. How do you be supportive without acting like your life is something to apologize for?
Perspectives on OutsideView are personal opinions from community members. They are not professional medical, mental health, legal, financial, or emergency advice.
If you are in crisis or may hurt yourself or someone else, contact emergency services or a crisis hotline immediately. In the U.S. and Canada, call or text 988.
4 Perspectives Received
Help the poster see their situation more clearly. Share personal perspective, not professional advice.
By posting a perspective, you agree to keep the discussion respectful and understand that your response is a personal opinion, not professional advice.
Been Through ThisChanged 1 perspective
🦊 HiddenRiver964
Your life is nothing to be ashamed about, the best thing you can do is be there for your brother and support him through whatever he's going through. Instead of feeling ashamed yourself, maybe talk to those who continuously compare the two of you and talk to them about how it makes you and your brother feel
Changed 1 perspective
🦡 GentleBadger291
As the less successful sibling for a long time, I promise you hiding your wins can feel worse. It made me feel like everyone was tiptoeing around me. I wanted kindness, not people pretending good things were not happening.
Been Through This
🌻 SouthMaple581
As the sibling who struggled, I can say: don’t dim your life. What hurt me was pity, not my sibling doing well.
🦉 QuietOwl820
I do think there is such a thing as reading the room though. You should not have to shrink yourself, but if your sibling is in a really low season, maybe share good news gently instead of making it a family announcement.
Similar Stories
More stories where your perspective may be useful.