← Back to Feed
Family

I feel guilty not visiting home more

🦊UrbanPebble934Helpful Perspectives Given: 0Member since Recently
Perspective requested:People older than me

I moved two hours away, which isn’t even that far, but my family acts like I left the country. I visit maybe once a month and call every week. Still, I get comments about how I’m never around. I feel guilty, then annoyed, then guilty for being annoyed. It’s exhausting.

Perspectives on OutsideView are personal opinions from community members. They are not professional medical, mental health, legal, financial, or emergency advice.

If you are in crisis or may hurt yourself or someone else, contact emergency services or a crisis hotline immediately. In the U.S. and Canada, call or text 988.

3 Perspectives Received

Help the poster see their situation more clearly. Share personal perspective, not professional advice.

By posting a perspective, you agree to keep the discussion respectful and understand that your response is a personal opinion, not professional advice.

Changed 1 perspective

🦡 WanderingBadger555

I might push back a little. Sometimes family guilt is annoying but also pointing to something real. If your parents are aging, future you might actually be glad you showed up more than was convenient.

Family Perspective

🦊 UrbanPebble934

Once a month plus weekly calls is not abandonment. Your family may need time to adjust to you becoming independent.

🍃 QuietMaple450

I went through this with my parents. The guilt did not disappear, but having a predictable schedule helped. Instead of negotiating every weekend, I just made visiting a planned thing. It made saying no less dramatic.

Similar Stories

More stories where your perspective may be useful.

Family

My parents still treat me like a kid

I am trying to become more independent, but my parents still question most decisions I make. I know they care, but it makes me feel like they do not trust me. I do not want to be disrespectful, but I also do not want to keep asking for permission to live my own life.

Family

I feel guilty wanting a different life than my family expects

My family has always imagined that I would live close to home, follow a practical career path, and help out often. I love them, but I want to move away and build a life that feels more like mine. I feel selfish even typing that. Has anyone balanced family expectations with wanting independence?

Family

I feel weird being the successful sibling

My younger brother has had a rough couple years. I got a stable job, moved out, and things are mostly okay for me. Every family dinner turns into people comparing us without meaning to. I feel guilty even talking about good things in my life because I can see him shut down. But I also don’t want to shrink myself forever. How do you be supportive without acting like your life is something to apologize for?