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Relationships

My girlfriend is ready to move in, but I still like living alone

🌊HiddenRiver640Helpful Perspectives Given: 0Member since Recently
Perspective requested:People in long-term relationships

My girlfriend and I have been together for almost three years. We are both 27. She has been bringing up moving in together more seriously because her lease ends in August. I love her. I see a future with her. But I also really love living alone. I like coming home and not talking. I like having my kitchen exactly how I want it. I like falling asleep with a podcast on without worrying if it bothers someone. When I say this out loud, it sounds selfish. She says moving in together is the natural next step, and part of me agrees. But another part of me feels like I am about to lose the only space that is fully mine. I do not want her to think I am less committed. I am just scared that if I say yes before I am ready, I will become quietly resentful.

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3 Perspectives Received

Help the poster see their situation more clearly. Share personal perspective, not professional advice.

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Been Through ThisChanged 1 perspective

🌊 HiddenRiver640

Living alone is not a silly preference. It is a whole nervous system thing for some people. If you say yes while already grieving your space, that resentment you are worried about is pretty realistic.

Relationship Perspective

🦊 SilverFox713

I disagree a bit with people who say “do not move in until you are fully ready.” I was never fully ready. Living with my partner was an adjustment, not an instant cozy movie scene. But we talked about alone time before moving in, and that mattered a lot.

Different Viewpoint

🦊 QuietFox529

Could you talk about a trial setup? Like not “we are moving toward marriage now,” but “let us test this for a lease cycle and agree on alone-time rules." The fear might get smaller if it is not framed as forever right away.

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