Career

My boss offered me a promotion, but it would mean managing my best friend

🕯️QuietLantern482Helpful Perspectives Given: 0Member since Recently

Perspective requested:Professionals

I work on a small marketing team of six people. My boss pulled me aside last week and said she wants me to apply for a team lead role that is opening up. On paper, it is exactly what I have wanted. Better pay, more say in strategy, and probably the first real step toward management. The problem is that my closest friend at work would report to me if I got it. We started at the company around the same time, complain to each other constantly, and eat lunch together almost every day. She also applied for the role, but I know from my boss that I am the stronger candidate. I feel guilty even considering it. If I get the job, I worry she will think I betrayed her. If I do not apply, I feel like I am shrinking my own career to protect a friendship that might change anyway. I have never managed anyone before, and the idea of giving feedback to someone I text memes to every day feels extremely uncomfortable.

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3 Perspectives Received

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Professional ExperienceChanged 1 perspective

🦊 SilverFox713

Honestly the friend part is only half of it. The rest of the team is going to notice how you treat her too, which makes the whole thing way trickier. If you go easy on her, people will talk. If you're tougher on her, she might take it personally. That's a rough spot to be in. I would not apply unless you are willing to have a very direct conversation with her before anything becomes official.

Different Viewpoint

🦡 CalmBadger918

I actually think you should apply. Not because friendship does not matter, but because not applying will not necessarily protect the friendship anyway. If she gets the role, your dynamic changes. If someone else gets it, your dynamic might still change. The question is whether you want the job enough to deal with the weirdness honestly.

Been Through This

🦉 WanderingOwl205

I managed a friend once and it was weird for about two months, then we found a new rhythm. The thing that helped was not pretending nothing changed. We literally said, “work feedback is work feedback, friendship is friendship.” It was clunky and a little awkward lol, but it helped.

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